Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
