She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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