Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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