I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
