how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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