I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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