apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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