All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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