dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
