I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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