i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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