My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
