I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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