her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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