I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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