Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
