i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
