he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize