i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
