I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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