yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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