Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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