Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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