return my video game
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
