i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
