Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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