I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?