im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.