you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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