How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
