Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
