boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
