Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
