sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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