WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
