how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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