FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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