My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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