I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize