If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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