is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize