He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You're like the curious george of whores
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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