Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
