mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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