Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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