marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
