DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize