the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
