look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
