I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
