i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
