Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
