No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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