Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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