i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
