So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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