Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
farters have to be the big spoon...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She's the barista slut.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
