FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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