dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Panties = found
Randomize