So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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