sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
