we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
