i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
