I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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