wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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