There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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