Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
