I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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