I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
