Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
