weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
